Welcome back to the show, Healthpreneurs! Today I am here with my Results Coaches, Amy, Stephanie, and Jackie, and we’re going to talk to you about why you should be asking and assessing – not telling and impressing. Wondering what the heck that means? Read on.

When people try to sell their product or service, they often get stuck in telling, telling, telling to try and impress their prospective client. Unfortunately, this has the opposite effect. The client never gets the chance to express their problem and, in turn, the seller never gets to hear what the person actually wants. Sounds like a lose-lose situation, right?

The secret is to ask and assess instead. Ask questions, assess their answers, and guide them to the solution you have to offer. By doing this, you give your client a voice and naturally guide the sales process towards a solution that’s best for them. Win! Tune in to hear exactly how to ask and assess – and learn some ways to make sure you aren’t falling into the trap of telling and impressing.

In This Episode Amy, Jackie, Stephanie and I discuss:

  • Understanding the why and how to get there.
  • The dating analogy.
  • Why vomiting on prospective clients isn’t attractive.
  • What happens when we ask and assess.
  • Bringing people back to problem-solving.
  • Classy and effective selling techniques.


01:00 – 05:00 – A trade show story and why we must ask the right questions

05:00 – 09:30 – How the problem of telling and impressing shows up in business.

09:30 – 15:00 – Asking and assessing and why telling isn’t impressive

15:00 – 19:00 – Following-up without seeming needy or desperate

19:00 – 25:00 – How we help our clients and what we do as coaches


Yuri Elkaim:                         Hey guys, what’s going on? Yuri here, welcome back to the show. I’m joined by our amazing result coaches, Jackie, Steph, and Amy today. Welcome, everyone, hope you guys are having an amazing day, and ladies, thanks for joining me. I’m excited to jump into today’s topic because I think, for people listening to this who are coaching, at least along the lines of what we recommend, I think it’s important to understand the difference between asking and assessing versus telling and impressing. So what the hell does that mean, how does that impact your business, what does that mean to you the listener or the viewer? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about in today’s episode.

A trade show story and why we must ask the right questions

Yuri Elkaim:                         Quick little story to give a bit of context on this. So, when I started my business online, 2006, I got a lot of bad advice. And part of that advice was, “hey, man, you should do some trade shows.” I was like, “cool, let me turn all my digital products into physical products and then we’ll just tour the country to do trade shows.” So 35000 dollars later, we did all that, and I realized something really, really powerful.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Three of those trade shows, we only had booths at. And so what was happening was that we were at a booth, and if you’ve ever been to a trade show you know that’s like, people would walk into the convention center with a suitcase that was empty, and they’re just there for free samples. Right, that’s kind of the vibe. So we got people just walking down the aisles and stuff, and you’re one of hundreds of exhibitors trying to pull people into your world, and it was a very tough thing to do.

Yuri Elkaim:                         But one of the trade shows, I was lucky enough to speak on stage and have a booth. And that trade show was a very different experience. Because instead of me trying to pull people in out of the aisles, now I had people lined up, coming to see our booth. And there’s a very, very big difference, from a positing perspective, when that happens, and I want to kind of lay that as the context for today’s discussion.

Yuri Elkaim:                         So, ladies, let’s jump into this. Why is this important for people listening or watching this to understand? Jackie, do you want to kick things off?

Jackie:                                   Sure. Well, first of all, it’s not about us, right? We think it’s about us as the gurus, as the coach, our stories really have a little bit to do with it, but really it’s what challenges we overcome. What tools, what methods, what actions did we take. Those are the missing pieces, right? There’s a lot of self-help books out there, but there’s only so many coaches that can teach their own methodology around taking courage and action and blending that together and getting a true transformation.

Jackie:                                   So I think if we assess and ask the right questions, we can understand why prospective clients are needing what we have to offer, and needing our help and assistance in that, in the how to. And once we understand the why, that’s the golden nugget, and until you know why, you’re not asking enough questions to get there. And that’s why we’ve been blessed with two ears and one mouth, to listen more than we talk. So, I think that boils it down in a nutshell, for me.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Have you guys ever been to a restaurant, maybe you’re traveling and, typical tourist destinations, and you have let the maître d’ outside the restaurant flagging you down outside the restaurant, like, “hey, we got a special dinner price going on, special, come on in.” I don’t know about you guys, but I want to run in the opposite direction when I see that stuff. And that’s what I’m talking about. Telling and impressing is kind of like that maître d’ outside the restaurant, begging you to come in, versus the restaurant that has the six-month waiting list, and you’re like, “where do I line up?”

Yuri Elkaim:                         And that is what we’re trying to get at, guys, is in your business, especially if you’re selling a higher ticket coaching program, which you should, you want to think of yourself as Simon Cowell on American Idol. You’re the judge sitting behind the desk, and you’re assessing people. You’re not saying, “please work with me, please work with me,” you’re saying, “okay, we’ve got this awesome program. Please tell me why we should work with you.” And have them jump through hoops. Does that make sense?

How the problem of telling and impressing shows up in business

Yuri Elkaim:                         Steph, what about you, how do see this show up in people’s worlds, in terms of their coaching businesses?

Stephanie:                          Well, there’s two things that are popping up right now for me. One is, this sounds very much like dating, where it’s like, let’s say as a woman, if the guy’s like, “you want to date me because I’m amazing and I’ve done this and I’ve done that, and I’ve done that and I’ve done this and all of that, I’m so great, I’m so great, I’ve been through this and that and blahblahblahblah.” Then you’re just like, “whoa, dude, back up, it’s not about that.” Just like you’re saying with the restaurant thing, that’s what it is. So it’s almost like that proving, proving, proving, and chasing and showing and all of that stuff, it just turns people off.

Stephanie:                          And then the next thing that kind of popped up in my mind was that, a lot of times when we do it, we’re coming from a good place, from a heartfelt place. It’s like, “let me tell you about me, let me show you about all the awesome things I’ve done. Let me tell you about all my accolades, let me tell you about all my hardships. Let me tell you about all these things, and this is why you should work with me.” But really, like Jackie said, nobody really cares about that. They want to know about; can you help them with their pain point. And that’s what we have to focus on is, what is it that they are looking for and what do we have that can help them.

Stephanie:                          But just to kind of circle back a bit, a lot of that comes from almost a lack of self-worth kind of place, where we feel like we have to prove, and prove, and prove, and prove, and it’s very, very, very common, and I think every single one of us, listening or here, me, everybody have dealt with that lack of self-worth issue, where you don’t really know if what you have is good enough, or if you can take care of things. I don’t know. But that’s why we end up talking and talking and talking instead of listening and listening and listening, because we feel like we have to prove so much, and really it’s the opposite.

Yuri Elkaim:                         My book agent, years ago, and this is really where this whole thing started happening, she told me, “Yuri, if you’re explaining, you’re losing.” And that stuck in my head, and it’s still ingrained in there. And it was so good. At first, I’m like, “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” But then I did.

Yuri Elkaim:                         And this really hit home again. I had a call a while ago. And this is as I’m developing my craft, the person said, “I want to think about it.” Obviously that’s the worst objection of all time. At the time, I didn’t really know how to handle it well, so I said, “okay, cool, let’s talk tomorrow.” The next day, I call her back, and her husband answers the phone. And now, I’m completely unprepared for the assault I’m about to take because now he’s peppering me with questions, I’m literally on my heels up against the wall, and I’m telling and impressing.

Yuri Elkaim:                         And I lost the enrollments, because I was not in a position of power to lead the call, I was on my heels, and I was explaining as opposed to asking and assessing. And this is, if you’re working with us as a client, this is one of the most important things you can get better at when you’re dealing with objections and you’re dealing with, I’m not going to say difficult people, but people who are challenging you, remember, this isn’t some widget you’re selling them, this is a high-end coaching program that you are working with people in, and you have to be as deciphering as they are with you.

Yuri Elkaim:                         We’ve had so many cases where people are like, “hey, show me eight to twelve testimonials.” We send them testimonials, they’re like, “oh, I need to see more.” And it gets to the point where it’s not about the testimonials, there’s something going on with you that is a little bit apprehensive for us. Tell me why should we even consider working with you and using the takeaway, and suddenly, the person’s like, “no, no, no, I’m going to do this. I’m the type of person who’s going to make this happen.”

Yuri Elkaim:                         So it’s just like you talked about, Steph, the whole dating thing. It kind of is playing hard to get, in some way, shape or form. Jackie, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this with your kids, or Amy, with yours, trying to get my kids to eat healthy foods is a lot tougher than getting them to eat hamburgers and pizza. So a lot of times I’ll just be like, “hey, this dinner is for actually mommy and I only.” And they’re like, “no, no, no, I want some of that, I want some of that.” Instead of saying, “hey, guys, here’s your salad, eat it,” and they’re like, “no, I don’t want that.”

Asking and assessing and why telling isn’t impressive

Yuri Elkaim:                         So the human psychology is phenomenal. Anyways, Amy, how do you see this come up in a lot of the calls that you do?

Amy:                                     It’s very interesting, because I love the ask and assess. What we discount when we are showing and impressing is that the enrollment cause, it goes back to, you are showing how you’re going to show your clients once they enroll with you. So if you’re just vomiting on them all of the great things, this person can’t see themselves, and remember, we’re all tuned in, all of us, to WIIFM, right, what’s in it for me.

Amy:                                     So that’s great that you got results, but when people hear us on the podcast or we’re coaching them, they forget that we ever struggled. So, it doesn’t matter that we say that we used to be so depressed that we couldn’t get off the couch, because they’re like, “uh-huh.” So we don’t want to talk about those things. We want to ask good questions and assess and remember why we’re doing this. So you want to go back your why. Why do you want to have a deeper impact? On who? That perfect client, right? And why do you want to increase your income?

Amy:                                     Like Stephanie said, we got caught in, “I have to make the money, I have to make the money, I have to make the money, I have to make the money.” And we get so focused on those things, and I see that happening with folks who are excited to launch but they are almost losing sight of why they’re doing this in the first place. Yes, we want you to have the lifestyle you want. That’s going to come from serving people, and when you ask and assess, whether it’s in your webinar, asking good questions that are getting people to think, or whether it’s in your Facebook add, or on the phone with people, you want to bring them back to, they’re going to be able to solve the problem.

Amy:                                     I’m guilty of talking too much, still. I practice, but I just talked with two gentlemen who enrolled with us, you guys are rock stars, super excited to work with Chuck and David, and they were nervous about, “how is think going to look? I still don’t understand how I’m going to do a virtual coaching program.” Now, they can agree that I talked too much about when they asked me a question about my own story, but, for this, instead of answering David that, “oh, you’re going to use Kajabi, and you’re going to do this and you’re going to do lalala.” I said, “what would you put into a coaching program if you were to build a coaching program?”

Amy:                                     And you had the best answers, David, awesome. So, he ended up building the framework for the program in our enrollment call, right? So we were able to coach through that. I definitely need to zip it in other areas, but when I even remember to just say, “it’s that question.” And I think Les Brown, I first heard him say it, “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do.” Well, if you did know what to do, what would you do? So I even sometimes will say that to clients. Well, “I don’t know what to do next.” “Well, if you did know what to do next, what would you do?”

Amy:                                     And then suddenly, it gets those roadblocks out. So when you ask and assess and remove yourself, people just want to know that you can help them, like Stephanie said, they want to know that you get them, that you’re going to hold space from them to feel vulnerable, they don’t care the letters after your name, they don’t care how much orbital experience you have, just can you connect, can you help, and you do that by asking really good questions and really saying to the wrong people, “I’m sorry, we’re not a good fit, go over here. I can point you in the right direction, but it’s not with us.”

Amy:                                     People will respect that, and they will refer people to you because you had the courtesy to do that. So ask good questions, folks.

Yuri Elkaim:                         That’s so good. because it really does come down to questions. If you’re not asking a question, you’re explaining, more or less. If there’s no question mark on the end of your sentence, you’re pretty much explaining something. And in some cases you have to do that, but in a lot of cases, if you just ask a question, you’d be better off. I think this is really helpful, too, because a lot of people in our space just enjoy coaching their clients. They don’t really like selling. And if you don’t like selling, then ask questions. Because selling, I think, a lot of people just don’t know how to do it properly, so they end up just, having verbal diarrhea over whoever they’re speaking to, and it feels like they’re pushy and salesy and non-stop, but the reality is that, the way I see this is, I call it coach to close. How can you coach someone to the point where they’re like, “how do I get started?”

Yuri Elkaim:                         And that’s really the process that we walk our clients through on our webinar. It’s called the “teach to sell” framework. Teach to sell, right? You’re getting people to the point where they buy in, and they’re like, “oh my God, this makes so much sense.” And then on the phone, it’s not like, “all right, get started now, we’re going to save 5000 dollars, plus we’re going to throw in these bonuses and free shipping,” it’s none of that stuff. It’s like, “okay, let’s figure out if we’re a mutual fit. You tell me why we should work with you.”

Following-up without seeming needy or desperate

Yuri Elkaim:                         And part of the challenge here, too, is what if someone says, “I need to think about it, I may want to do it later.” Now you’ve got this kind of fine line between follow-up and coming across as desperate. We’ve got a really good follow-up process, but how do you guys juggle this? I’ll just ask Jackie and Amy here for a sec. How do you guys handle the fine balance between following up with someone, to let them know that we’re serious about working with them, but also not coming across as needy and desperate for their business?

Jackie:                                   Yeah, this is fun one for me, because I like challenges. And this is always a challenge that used to stop me, early on in my sales career. And to be honest, it goes back seeking to be understanding of that person before being understood, right? Really going down to the big why. If this is something that they’re thinking about later this year or next year, then this isn’t urgent for them, so we’re not going to waste a lot of our time.

Jackie:                                   We actually do a really good job now qualifying them, where we weren’t a few months ago, getting them to understand, “is this something you’re ready to commit to. Are you ready to make a difference in your business, in your life, in your impact, in your influence.”? And so, when we get to the point in that conversation where they start to back pedal a little bit and they’re like, “uh.” This is the do-or-die moment to, “I’m officially going to sign on the dotted line and commit. This means I have to show up and take action.”

Jackie:                                   And then that fear and self-doubt and old wiring in our brain starts to play again, because they haven’t done this before, and they don’t know what they don’t know. I simply kind of ease them into, the coaching’s already started, right? “So, do you want to continue this now, or do you want to continue getting what you’re getting, which obviously got you on this phone call, because you’re not happy with where you are right now, right? So, how much longer are you willing to tolerate where you are right now, and getting the results that you’re getting?”

Jackie:                                   And usually people are quick to be like, “okay, yeah, I’m going to call you back in a few hours, and I’m going to put this on my card, or I’m going to move around some money, and we’re making this happen today or tomorrow.” So there really isn’t a true follow-up system. I’ve had people say, “can you email me once a month?” So it was in the past, when we didn’t have a good system. “Can you just be atop-“, I’m like, “no, because if you really want that change, everything that you need is already out there. We have an amazing podcast, Yuri has an amazing YouTube channel, gives away generous amount of tools and tips and methodologies. When you’re ready to commit and make true transformation in your business and in your life, let’s do this. You have my email address. That’s all you need. Call me when you’re ready to commit.”

Jackie:                                   So that’s how I handle it. Amy, how about you?

Amy:                                     Well, and it’s funny, because I agree, things have changed over time. Where I used to really follow up and make that follow-up call, but then, now this space is taken up on my calendar, the people, many of them were doing that because they felt bad not making a follow-up, but now I’m wasting my time because they’re just not showing up. Now they may be sitting there feeling guilty that they didn’t show up or they just didn’t even give it a second thought, so now we also want to teach our clients and our prospective clients how to run their businesses.

Amy:                                     We don’t want you wasting your time, either. So, I ask, if somebody’s making a follow-up, I will say, “I just want to check in and make sure that you’re setting this appointment with me because you’re serious about this, you’re seriously going to the bank, or you’re seriously going to friends and family.” There are people who, I say, “okay, great, give me a call, or you’ve got my information, you have my email, reach out to me when you’re ready.” And again, that’s that asking and assessing and qualifying, because we don’t help anyone. We don’t help ourselves, we certainly don’t help them by allowing them to do that because we’re not helping them move forward.

Amy:                                     So like you, Jackie, I do ask those questions about, “how much longer are you willing to suffer with this problem? Is it truly a must right now?” And some people end up saying, “yeah, no, it’s really not a must for me right now.” And there’s nothing wrong with that. I would rather have that honesty up front. And again, we’re coaching. If they’re not the right fit, awesome, all the best to you. We’ve got tons of people who need exactly what we offer, and are enrolled with us, and are enrolling with us every day. So, if it’s not for you, it’s going to end up being this anyway, so let’s just part ways now if you change your mind, you know where to find us.

Amy:                                     And like you said, podcast, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. Yuri, you’re so generous with the information that you provide. We all know that people get the best results working with us, but you can check out those resources, because you are super generous with all those methodologies.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Thank you. Obviously, you guys for taking part in this podcast, as well, you guys give a lot of good insights.

Jackie:                                   If I can give just a few more sentences on that outline, because I think you ended that well, Amy, but it’s not making someone right or wrong. As a coach, we’re not right or wrong, as a prospective client, they’re not right or wrong. It’s just where people are. You have to meet them where they are. And it’s not about perfect timing, so please do not take this in the wrong way. There’s no such thing as perfect timing-

Yuri Elkaim:                         Let me get my ducks in a row.

Jackie:                                   There’s no such … and that. There’s no such thing as ducks in a row. We need to-

Yuri Elkaim:                         Really, no more ducks?

Jackie:                                   Visual image of a duck with its head cut off, because it doesn’t exist. And I love animals, so please take that the right way, as well. But that’s the thing with this day and age and technology. Everything is so quick to be looked at or so quick to judge. And it’s not a right or wrong situation, it’s just timing, right? And if the timing isn’t right for them in that moment, it doesn’t mean it will be later, so if you come across too aggressive, too pushy, you might completely turn off a prospective client that could be ready in 30 days, or could be ready in six months.

Jackie:                                   We really don’t know all the junk that’s going on in their life, nor do we really want to unload all of that in a first-time conversation, like dating. We don’t want to dump all our garbage onto someone. It turns them away. We also don’t want to ask them to marry us in the first conversation, either, right? So it’s a very fun, fine line dance, but with the right strategies that we share in the Help Business Accelerator workshop, it really gives you the step-by-step how to without crossing the line too soon but meeting people right where they’re at.

Yuri Elkaim:                         I think the other thing too is that, when you come across as too pushy, like really pushing on someone, you end up getting higher refunds and cancellations. Because if someone is in a position where they’re making an impulse decision, again, that’s going to lead to remorse and regret a lot of times, and they’re going to end up being in a program that maybe they shouldn’t be in a program for, and that’s why, again, we’re not selling a 10 dollar book, we’re selling … and when I’m talking about we, I’m talking about people listening and watching. If you are selling coaching, you’re selling your time, your expertise, your intellectual property, and that comes at a certain value.

Yuri Elkaim:                         But again, no one cares about that. That needs all to be tied into an outcome you can get for your clients. And it really is a mutual, symbiotic relationship where you have to show up. It’s not 50-50, you have to show up at 100 percent and they have to show up at 100 percent. If it’s you are doing 100 percent and they’re at 20 percent, it’s not going to work.

How we help our clients and what we do as coaches

Yuri Elkaim:                         And so I really feel that in this type of environment where you are assessing a prospective client, you’re not selling them, you’re not closing them, you are like border patrols, you’re a customs agent, and you’re like, “why are you coming into the country, when are you coming back, what are you doing here?” You have to think of yourself as border patrol, allowing or not allowing people into your country. Because if you’re working in a group coaching program where you have 5, 10, 500 people, those people coming into your country either are going to enhance the experience of everyone else and yourself, or they’re going to be a cancer that spreads negativity. And you need to be very discerning right away.

Yuri Elkaim:                         But in order to do that, this goes back to what we talked about before is, if you have a pipeline issue, then obviously you’re going to be needy for every single person you speak with. But if you get to the point where your incoming problem is not a problem anymore, where you have leads in clients booking calls, you can say “no” more easily, because you’re, “okay, cool, next, someone else is booking a call, it’s no big deal.” Anyways, Steph, do you want to add anything before we finish off today?

Stephanie:                          Oh my gosh, I think you ladies just hit the nail on the head with everything, I don’t even know if I can add anything to that. It’s all awesome.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Cool, cool. All right guys, well, thank you so much. If you’re listening or watching this and you want to take things to the next level, by the next level I mean either you’re starting your business and you’re just not growing, you’re not getting clients, you’re not doing what you want to do, obviously we can help you. because we’re good at helping health and fitness experts who aren’t growing enough, or fast enough, to get more clients and skill their coaching.

Yuri Elkaim:                         So if that’s something of interest and that’s something you want to do, we got a great free training over at healthpreneurgroup.com/training.

It’s called the 7-Figure Health Business Blueprint. We’ll walk you through our whole model, we’ll show you exactly what we’re doing, what we’re doing for our clients. And if it resonates with you, then book a call to speak with us and then we can brainstorm a game plan based on your specific situation.

Yuri Elkaim:                         But again, as Jackie has mentioned, don’t do this if you’re not ready to move forward. There’s no point in you spending time investigating something if you’re not in the position to be like, “I need to change now.” If this is something you’re thinking about six months down the road, it’s not even worth it. Because you’re going to have to come back and revisit it again six months down the road.

So if you’re at a point where you’re sick and tired, or you’re at a point where you’re ready to move forward, then go to healthpreneurgroup.com/training and check out the training. Again, book a call with us, the link will be provided in the training if it resonates with you. And once again, thank you so much for joining us. If you’re watching this or listening, thank you so much, guys, have an amazing day, and we’ll speak to you soon.


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What You Missed

In our last solo round, I talked about your new marketing budget for 2019.

If what you’re doing is making money, then you have a marketing budget. And if you have a marketing budget and you’re using it wisely, you should be profiting at exponential levels and continuing to increase your investment to your marketing strategy.

Is this not happening for you? Then you’re doing something wrong somewhere along the line.

Tune in to learn the route that is proven to work and lean into the experience and wisdom of others who have already taken the path.