How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Transcription

Today, we’re going to be talking about how to overcome the fear of rejection because quite frankly, fear of rejection is, I would say, the number one thing and standing in almost everybody’s way. Fear of rejection, also known as fear of being disliked is crippling your personal and business growth. I really think that if you are not where you want to be in your business, it’s 100% related to fear of rejection.

 

How fear of rejection shows up in business

Let’s look at the context of coaching. If fear of rejection is in your way, here’s how that’s going to show up in the context of a coaching based business. You’re going to get on the phone with people or have a conversation with people about enrolling in your program. There will be times where you need to ask hard questions that are going to feel uncomfortable. If you are afraid of rejection, you will not ask those questions because you don’t want to step on people’s feet and God forbid, they should say no or something not ideal. It’s going to limit your ability to ask hard questions to really stand firm. That’s going to really compromise your results in terms of enrollments.

Now, what about follow up. Follow up is a huge thing. Most businesses don’t even do it. I think that maybe you just don’t even think about it, but even if we consider, okay, we understand that follow up is important. What do most people do? They send like one email or maybe like one message on Instagram or Facebook or something to follow up with someone and that’s it. Why not more? Why not send five, 10, 20 follow ups? Again, it’s the fear of rejection. It’s the fear of being disliked. “Oh my God, I don’t want to piss this person off. What if I’m coming across too pushy?” Listen, if it’s done in the right way, it doesn’t come across as pushy. It comes across as actually being valuable to that individual.

 

The importance of being top of mind

We have a whole process in our business called, “TOMFU,” top of mind follow up. It’s a game changer. It’s something that we incorporate into everything we do. We don’t just follow up with people in the sense of like “Hey, are you ready to get started? Ready to get started? Ready to get started?” That’s not what this is about. It’s about having a strategic way of following up with people and doing so in a way that really stands out in case no one else is doing this, but again, the majority of people don’t want to send a few more messages because they’re like “Oh, man, I don’t want to irritate this person. What if they don’t like me? What if they unfriend me?” Speaking of unfriending and unfollowing, what about social media? How often do you post on social media? Once a week, once a day? Well, what if I challenge you to post 10 times more?

Actually, one of the things that I committed to with Instagram is, I’m going to post … I just have to plan this out and  sit down and write a post for this. I’m going to be posting 10 times more than I normally do. That means like 10 to 15 times per day. Now, when you think of that, you might think, “Oh my goodness, it’s going to be irritating for people to see my stuff all the time. They’re not going to want to hear from me 10 or 15 times a day.” That’s true if all you do is post like butt pics and stuff that doesn’t really add value to their life, but it also force you to ask better questions, right? If I were to get in front of people 10 or 15 times a day, how can I add as much value as possible in those touchpoints.

Also, the other thing to consider is that, no one is seeing your stuff anyway, right? It’s not like every single one of your followers sees every single one of your posts, right? You understand that. I don’t think most of us really think about that because unless you’re scrolling through your newsfeed all the time, you’re not going to see everybody’s post that you follow and vice-versa. By posting more often, you get your stuff in front of people who are following you more often. Now, are some people going to see all of your stuff? Maybe, but it’s going to be a very small minority. Instead of seeing one out of every 10 posts, people might see three or four out of every 10 post from you.

 

An example of how this works

Now, your top of minds and in their top of mind, they’re more likely to do business with you eventually because they’re just thinking of you. It’s the same reason Donald Trump got elected because he was always on the news. He was always the focus of attention. Where attention goes, energy flows and results show. Obscurity is the real issue. Obscurity is how your business will just disappear. No one knows about it. I would rather ear on the sign. I actually have on my vision board … I have an Instagram account that I use only for my vision board. It’s actually pretty cool. I’ll save that for another episode, but essentially, I have quotes and images in that Instagram account.

One of them, the title is, Top of Minds and the little text underneath is, I communicate with people so often and I had so much value to them that it irritates some of them. I’m at a point now where I don’t really care what people think. I don’t care if they dislike me. I don’t care what they think of whatever it is we’re doing because I understand that those are not the people I don’t want to serve anyways, right? It’s the people that see the value that we’re providing that are going to want to consume more of it. We just want to be of greater value.

Going back to fear of rejection, the reason we don’t post more on social is, either we don’t have the strategy or second, we’re fearful of, “Oh my God, what are people going to think?” The same thing goes for emails. How often do you send your list in email? Once a week? No, no, no. If it’s once a week, go to one a day. We actually have friends in our space who … Again, I don’t really agree with the way they do email. Marketing, it’s very aggressive, but for them, they send four to five emails a day in some cases every single day. I’m like “Okay, that’s a bit excessive, but for them, for their business, that’s an important thing for them. They do that more often.” The reason we don’t get in front of people more often is simply because we are afraid of what they might think of us. We’re afraid of being disliked. We’re afraid of being rejected.

 

How to push past the fear of rejection

What I want to impart on you in this bridged conversation is, number one, who cares what other people think, okay? Please make that your mantra, who cares what other people think. You post what you want, of when you want as often as you want. That is it. That is the number one way to get over the fear of rejection. It’s not caring what other people think and taking massive action. Those two combined are going to help cure you of this disease that afflicts all of us internally inside of our head. It’s going to come from a place of service because when you get to the point and you really understand that if I don’t do this, not only am I crippling my business, but I’m actually not serving the people that I could be serving. By holding back, by playing small, I’m not able to get my message in front of more people? Who knows, there might be thousands, maybe millions of people that you could be touching, that you’re not touching because you’re afraid of playing a bigger game.

I want to inspire you here to think bigger, play bigger, take bolder action. I’ll give you a great example and a great story to finish this off. One of our luminary mastermind members, Amy, she had a retreat that she was doing in San Diego. She want to fill 12 spots, but she only had, I think, two spots filled. She said, “Okay, how do I do this? I’ve got like six weeks to get this done.” Actually, as you’re listening to this right now, I think her retreat is actually, pretty much, right about now or maybe it was last week. I can’t remember. Anyways, I said, “Listen, you’re going to have to do things you’ve never done before if you want different results.”

I gave her some simple strategy and some tips and so forth to encourage a massive outlay of follow up and getting in front of people. She was initially apprehensive about this because she’d never done this before. It is well beyond her comfort zone. That’s the thing. This stuff is out of your comfort zone, but that means this is where you are going to have the most growth. She deployed this. We actually had a conversation and check in call. Well, as of this recording, last week, she was just beaming with light because she had filled all 12 spots. I was like “Well, what did you do? What was the needle mover?” She’s like “Honestly, I just took more action than I would’ve otherwise. I was just more bold. I was more upfront. I just commanded my own worth and I just went after it.” She filled all 12 spots and she was so, so happy.

That’s the thing is that if she had not done that, she may have had a handful of people at the retreat. It would not have worked out as well as it did. That’s the same thing for everything in your business. There is the reality of what’s happening now and there’s the possibility of what you want. If you’re setting a goal for, “I want to work with 20 clients.” Never ever settle for lowering your goal. “Okay, we’re four weeks away from starting. I don’t think we’re going to meet that goal, so we’re just going to tone it down. 10 clients, I’ll be happier.” Don’t ever do that. Don’t ever do that because you’re settling and you’re basically sugarcoating the situation. That’s unacceptable. It has to be unacceptable for you to not hit those goals. You have to do whatever it takes as if your kids were kidnapped and you have to get them back to meet that reality.

Fear of rejection goes away when desire goes through the roof. When you got massive desire, it doesn’t matter what people think. If your kids were taken away, and I hate to use this example, but I actually read this in a book years ago and I thought it was a great stimulating idea is that if your kids were taken away, what would you have to do to, let’s say, earn $1 million to get them back? You would do anything. Fear of rejection doesn’t even enter the conversation at that point. If you’re afraid of being rejected, number one is, you need to really, really increase your desire to the point where no matter what other people think, you’re going to move forward. You have such a desire for achieving the thing you want that nobody else, the way they think about you or what you’re doing, even is a consideration.

The challenge in our world is a word, it’s a seven-letter word that should be considered a four-letter word, and it’s called comfort. It’s called good enough. Things are good enough. They’re not that bad. There’s not enough desire to really push us through the roof to make amazing things happen. I want you to get uncomfortable. I want you to figure out a way to raise your desire, to raise your level of discomfort in the current situation. You will do no matter what like anything it takes to achieve your goals. When you do that, fear of rejection goes out the window. I hope this message finds you well. I hope it inspires you to take bolder action and really come from a place of service and understand that it doesn’t matter what people think of you, who cares. Just do your thing. Serve other people and you’ll always have haters, whatever.

Now, if you want our help to help you take bold action but also doing so in a way that is systemized, predictable, profitable, not just doing a thousand different things, then be sure to watch our training, the Seven-Figure Health Business Blueprint over at healthpreneurgroup.com/training. It’s a great presentation about, number one, five secrets you need to know about in order to succeed and really build a million dollar business in the health coaching space. Those secrets have ruffled a few feathers. Well, I’ll see it for myself but second, you’re also going to get our perfect client pipeline, which is our four-step business model to attracting your perfect high paying clients on demand like clock work. That’s all inside the presentation. You will find it a very, very good use of your time. Watch it today if you haven’t already, healthpreneurgroup.com/training.

Once again, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope this episode has found you well. I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday. For now, continue to go out there, be great, do great and we’ll see you then.