Do You Have A Growth Mindset

Transcription

Yuri Elkaim:                         What’s up, friends? Yuri here, a little bit of a different background today. It’s a beautiful sunny day so I decided to come up into the office with windows and we are here with another edition of Between the Ears which is one of our segments on the Healthpreneur podcast and joined by Amy, Jackie, and Steph. How you guys doing?

Jackie:                                   Very good.

Steph:                                   Awesome

Yuri Elkaim:                         You guys good? Alright, cool. So, just, if you’re watching this on video, I’ve got this pulse massager on my shoulders so if my arm starts doing some weird stuff, you’ll know why. It’s doing its thing. Anyways, today’s topic is not about massage and not about tight muscles, it’s about a growth mindset. So we talk a lot about mindset, Between the Ears is obviously is the name of the segment. One of the things that I think we’ve recognized as a team is that as long as someone is really good at what they do in terms of what their skill set, being able to really help someone transform their health, that’s … and they have a good mindset in the sense of they can … they’re willing to jump in and they don’t necessarily need to know how to do everything, but they have the mindset that says, “I can figure this out.” Right? And I think a lot of people in the health and fitness biz should have that mindset, at least that they’re entrepreneurial because, listen, when we all went into school, none of us knew anything until we went through school. So we learned things and we grew our mindset in that process.

Mindset and how we limit ourselves

Yuri Elkaim:                         Let me ask you guys, what are some of the pitfalls that people can fall into if they don’t have a growth mindset, and the opposite of a growth mindset which would be a fixed mindset. Carol Dweck … do you remember the name of our book, Steph?

Steph:                                   What is it called …?

Yuri Elkaim:                         It might just be called Mindset, I don’t even know. I don’t even-

Steph:                                   I think it is Mindset something …

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yeah, it might just be-

Steph:                                   Mindset’s definitely in the title.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yeah, it might just be Mindset. In the book she talks about fixed mindset versus growth mindset. Anyways let’s talk about what are some of the consequences of somebody living through life or building their business with a fixed mindset, as opposed to being growth mindset oriented. Steph, do you want to kick it off?

Steph:                                   Yeah, I’d love to. I think one of the biggest things that … I’ll just use this as an example. What a lot of people end up coming to us with as a mindset coach, I’m a mindset coach and a results coach in the program, is, “I’m not good at tech. I’m really not good at tech. I’m really not good at tech.” Well guess what, if you keep repeating that to yourself over and over again, guess what it’s going to become fixed in your mind when really it’s just more challenging for you. That doesn’t mean that you can’t figure it out by any means, especially because we have so many people on the team that help you walk through it. When you have that in your mind that, “I am not good at tech,” or, “I am not good at copy writing,” or, “I am not good at webinars,” or, “I’m not on camera.” Whatever it is, it becomes very difficult for your mind to think of any other idea then, “You’re not good at it therefore you’re going to fail at it.”

Steph:                                   If you can think, “Okay, well I’m going to figure this out. I have a proven system, I have coaches to help me. Let me just try or figure it out.” Then all of a sudden these challenges … I think when you have a fixed mindset, and I’m a recovering fixed mindset person so I totally understand how this feels. Any challenge that pops up, it feels like you just want to give up rather than, “Challenges help me expand, challenges help me grow just like a muscle. When I lift my bicep curl, or do bicep curls in the gym I’m challenging my muscle so it helps me grow, then same in life.” What happens is that when you have that fixed mindset, it causes you just to give up before you’ve even started because you’ve already told yourself ahead of time, “I’m not good at this, I’m not good at that, I’m not good at this, I’m not good at that.”

Steph:                                   It’s just something to really be mindful of and change your verbiage around it because all it is a habit. That’s all it is a neurology that’s built up over time where you’ve repeated it, repeated it, repeated it. You have a chance and a choice to change that neurology down a different path that will lead to much more success and happiness too. That’s the other too, is that when you have a fixed mindset you can get super stressed out, really bummed out. You see challenges or failures as a dig on your own worth rather than, “Oh, I’m going to learn from this and grow from this.” There’s a big difference between those two.

Getting over getting burned

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yeah, that’s good. I totally forgot what I was about to say, maybe it’s all these muscle twitches going through my neck. Anyways, so if we look at … okay yeah, now it’s coming back to me. I mean this doesn’t happen all the time but there are I’d say a decent percentage of people that we speak with who talk about, “I’ve been burned before, I don’t want to get burned again.” That’s a totally valid comment and it’s actually sad that it happens because it’s really unfortunate that a lot of people get burned.

Yuri Elkaim:                         The challenging thing for me is that when that happens it’s almost like they’re on … it’s almost like getting into a relationship. Being very cautious because the previous one didn’t work out well and now it’s like, “All guys are pigs,” or, “All women are whatever.” I think what ends up happening is this … and I think life can have this effect on people, is where you have these goals and you want to achieve these things and it doesn’t happen. What started off as a growth mindset ends up becoming a fixed mindset because you just don’t want to get hurt anymore based on, “I set this intention, it didn’t happen,” or, “I put myself out there and invested in this program,” or, “I dated this new person and look what happened again. I got hurt, it didn’t work out.” Now it’s just completely fixed and closed minded.

Yuri Elkaim:                         I shot an episode for the podcast last week about this because there was someone in our pipeline who was interested in working with us, but she was so fearful based on the fact that she’d been burned before that there was nothing I could say to help her overcome that.

Yuri Elkaim:                         So Jackie, how would you address this? If someone’s coming in with wanting to grow, wanting to achieve a certain outcome but they’re so … maybe just based on experience, just so fearful and so fixed now based on all those things that have happened to them before, how would you address that?

Jackie:                                   Yeah, well I always ask at the beginning of our calls if they’ve ever worked with a coach before, or a coaching company of that nature whether it was one on one or group. If they say, “Yes,” or they bring up the whole burning situation then I ask, “Okay, what’s the one thing you’d have changed, would have been different so you wouldn’t have felt or been…?”

Jackie:                                   When they say they’ve been burned, that means they just gave up in reality if you think about it, or they signed up for something that wasn’t a right fit. Then that’s just part of the reason they didn’t investigate long enough, or the other company wasn’t as transparent which that’s all now hindsight, right? They’d even entered that relationship with a fixed mindset because they didn’t grow from it. If you grow from something, you didn’t get burned from it, you just grew from it and you have a different way of talking about.

Jackie:                                   I always ask, “What’s the one thing you can learn from that.” When they share that, 100% of the time, and I can say this now in the past year and a half, we are a part of that solution. Meaning that if they say, “Well, there wasn’t enough Q&A time in my group,” or, “The group was hundreds of people,” well we don’t allow hundreds of people per month to come in. We have four calls that are live per week and every question gets an answer hands down, even if the calls have ran over a little bit. “There wasn’t any one-on-one coaching available,” well we offer that as well so every single time we’re part of the solution which is great. Well I don’t share that right out of the gate, that’s later but at last I’m taking notes and understanding.

Jackie:                                   These are little nuggets that we’re teaching our coaches to use because they need these tools and ammunition. When someone says, “I need to lose weight, I’m a chronic yo-yo dieter,” or, “My hormones are messing up my life,” or all these crazy ailments and challenges in the health space that everybody is dealing with. They need these tools and others to say, “Well I bought that book, I signed up for that program, and I spent thousands of dollars on all this,” it’s like, “Okay, are you going to let them go?” No, they’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and they finally found you. So that’s one little obstacle, I think I just went on a worldly rant there, sorry.

Yuri Elkaim:                         No, that’s great. That’s really good, I love that distinction of if you were burned you didn’t grow because you can’t get burned, only victims get burned. That’s just … I’m not trying to be abrasive to anyone who may have been burned before but the reality is like we believe as individuals in our team, and just as a collective in our company that everything happens for us, good or bad. We’ve gone through … last year alone six Facebook ad accounts shut down. It was not a fun six weeks-

Steph:                                   Mine got shut down in the process because they were using it-

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yeah, that was not a lot of fun, but the reality is that we had the mindset to be like, “You know what, we’re going to figure this out because it’s really important for us to figure this out. If we don’t, that’s not good for our business.” I think if you’re on the receiving end of not the greatest experience, or however the situation might look like, it’s such a great mindset shift to think about, “How do I grow from this? How does this serve me even though it was maybe not the best thing?”

Jackie:                                   It’s taking responsibility and it’s a maturity level.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yeah.

Jackie:                                   So even in a romantic relationship, just because it ends it can be sad or it can be like, “Thank God.” Either way if you look at it with growth, and like, “Okay, what didn’t I like about that relationship,” or, “What did I like about that relationship,” so now I can filter that and the next one is going to be better. Or, “I’m going to go back and do the same thing over and over again and get the same result.” And so with the fixed mindset it’s kind of like you’re almost creating your own glass ceiling and you’re just going to keep bumping against it, keep against it, keep bumping against it, but when you have a growth mindset everything is possible. Everything is literally possible. When you have the right coaches to help you with that because 99% of the time what stops is between our ears, not even a secret source, or formula, or strategy, or thing. This is why we do these calls.

Yuri Elkaim:                         It’s such a good example too because this one lady I was speaking to over email, she said, “I need 100% certainty that this is going to work.” I told her, I’m like, “I can’t give that to you because we know our process works, what we don’t know is whether you work.” I told her, “Your results are 100% your responsibility.” I said, “We’ve had clients that have done one million dollars a month, and others that haven’t done anything. What’s the difference? It’s the same strategy, what’s the difference?”

Yuri Elkaim:                         When you have … we’re sharing this, if you’re watching this and you’re obviously coaching clients you’re going to have clients who are asking this stuff of you as well, like, “I need to be sure this is going to work. Why is this going to be different than every other diet that I’ve done before?” You need to be in a position where you should never be explaining yourself because a lot of times that client’s not even a good fit to work with you because they don’t have the mindset to be willing to grow and understand that they’re responsible for the results. You can’t do their sit-ups for them. You can’t put their food in your mouth and expect them to get the change so they have to step up and they have to be of that mindset. That’s the beautiful thing about coaching is that you choose who you want to work with, just like we choose who we want to work with.

Looking for solutions instead of problems

Yuri Elkaim:                         Amy, I’ll let you drop in here. What are something that you see with maybe some of our clients that have been able to push through some barriers being more growth oriented with their mindset?

Amy:                                     This is a great topic because there are really three things that I see. First that suffering is familiar, so even though it’s painful and it sucks we know it. So if my business isn’t working, and my business isn’t working, and my business isn’t working, it’s that same loop that’s definitely talked about but it’s familiar it’s not working. Some people believe it or not, when they start making the money, and making the impact, and things are going everything they wanted they get scared because they don’t know how to be in that place. That’s why visualization and really feeling what it feels like to have what you want is a really important habit to incorporate, and knowing that the new suffering, or it doesn’t even have to be suffering, but the discomfort is just that unknown. It’s just a fear of the unknown. We know what we want, it’s kind of like explorers sailing across the ocean when they were told that the world was flat, and they’re like, “I know the world’s not flat. I know I can get over there. I don’t know what that’s going to look like and maybe I’m going to fall off the earth but I’m going because I know.”

Amy:                                     So that brings me to my second point is, what if you did know? What if instead of saying, “But I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to set up my ads manager. I don’t know how to set up my schedule once,” or, “I don’t know how to submit for a webinar review.” What if you stopped for a moment and just said, “Well, what would I do if I did know?” So if you did know we’ve got an amazing great new resource sheet now that’s super simple, you’ve got people to lean on to ask. Before you start jumping into, “I don’t know,” and freaking out frenzy, how empowering is it to say, “What would I do if I did know?” Or, “What would Yuri do, what would Stephanie do, what would Jackie do, what would Amy do, what would Phyllis do?” And do that, and when you’ve done those things, this is how I go into when I ask questions like of a chat, I say, “I’ve done all these things,” because they inevitably say, “Did you read this?” One time with AAA they asked me if I tried starting the car, “Duh, yes I know you’re reading from a script but I did try starting that.”

Why coaching and mentorship offers support when stepping to the next level

Amy:                                     So do all those things and when you truly are like, “I just … I can’t find the answer,” then that brings me to my third point. You want to lean on someone who does know and you want to have that person who can reach down and pull you up. Not that’s going to prop you up, but that’s going to help you get to where you want to go because you’ve been there. This might be a weird example but yesterday marked, I think it was 23 years since my dad passed away so I was thinking about like just growing up and all these memories of my dad. I have this memory of being a young child with a nightgown on, and I’m in my … I came up early in the morning and I was like in my parents bed and my night gown is going crazy with static electricity. So it’s like kind of stinging and it’s lighting, and my whole nightgown’s like lighting up and I looked at my parents. Like it was kind of cool but I was scared, but my parents at that time were my coaches. They smiled, they knew what it was, they were able to tell me how cool it was and they’re like it wasn’t going to light on fire or anything.

Amy:                                     So that’s what we do for all of you, for all our clients, and all of you who are going to join us. We’re there to say, “Yeah that’s okay. Your Facebook ads, your numbers … you’re getting registrants for a higher dollar amount than you wanted but you’re enrolling them at three to five thousand dollars, that’s okay.” So we’re going to be that person to say, “We’ve been there, we’ve done that, we understand the numbers.” So it’s really getting out of that comfort of suffering, asking yourself, “What would I do if I did know?”, and then leaning in for that support when you truly can’t find the answer. That’s just going to be empowering for all of you, whether you’re working with us now, or will in the future, or you’re listening and-

Yuri Elkaim:                         That’s it. I was … reminds me as well, I was just putting together some new ads and one of them was a slow motion video when I was in Greece we were on … we had like a day on a yacht with some friends and we’re at an agency. It’s frigging cold, windy, and we’re like, “How often am I going to be out here? How often am I going to come to this exact spot? I want to jump in the water here and give it a go.” I’m thinking, like I was cold just wearing clothing so I’m like, “Am I going to put my bathing suit on and do this?” I thought to myself, “Well, if I don’t this I’m going to regret not doing this,” and it’s like, “I am a decent swimmer, I can figure it out when I’m in the water and it’s going to be okay.”

Yuri Elkaim:                         So I jumped in and it was so cold, so salty, definitely some shrinkage happened but it was well worth it. I was in there for about 20 minutes and the current was so strong that I was swimming but I was staying stationary so it was actually a really good workout. When I look back on that it was like, “Had I not done that, I never would have had that experience and I’m so happy that I did do it because now I can always remember what that was like and it gives me a reference point for other things that may feel uncomfortable but I know that if I do them are going to be good for me.”

Believing in yourself completely and using the support of others to excel

Yuri Elkaim:                         I think it’s … it’s as entrepreneurs it’s very easy to get paralyzed by fear because we want certainty in so much of the things we do. We want to be certain that this is going to work out, or whatever. I think it’s important to lean in and really look at yourself, to be like, “Okay, this is a program, this is a solution, this is a whatever. Does this fit how I want to move forward with my business?” If the answer is no, that’s totally fine, go to something else that does. If the answer is yes, then there is going to be a certain amount of uncertainty that you don’t know about because you don’t know how it’s going to work out, when it’s going to work out, all this stuff.

Yuri Elkaim:                         The thing about being growth minded is just the belief that, “I will figure this out.” That’s really what it comes down to. I think as we’ve been talking, but I think it’s one of the most important traits of successful people, not just entrepreneurs. I’ll share one last story. When I launched my first book, The All-Day Energy Diet which became a number two New York Times Bestseller, I decided to take on a huge risk which I said was going to be, “I’m going to do whatever I can to hit the number one spot on the New York Times list.” That involved me putting in $300,000 into this launch, which basically meant I was going to buy all these books and that we were going to give them away for free with shipping obviously the customer had paid. So we spent nine months testing all the stuff out, testing our funnel, finally got to the point where we were really confident where we know it’s going to work and when … just before the week of launch I had to submit the money to the marketing company we were working with for the distribution of books. They needed $300,000 on a Monday morning. I didn’t have the money leading up to that, I had about half of it and then I had a friend/colleague who said, “Listen, I’ll send you, or I’ll front the rest at whatever interest rate we had determined.”

Yuri Elkaim:                         On the Friday he pulled out, so like literally two and a half days before the money was due, he pulled out and I’m like … I was at the lowest of lows at this point and I said, “Okay, dude you can have a little melt-down for a second, but then you need to get back up and figure this out because if you don’t this whole thing is gone.” And so I got super uncomfortable and I just texted, an emailed, and called everyone I possibly knew and I just asked them for money. It was the worst case … like the worst position I’ve ever been in but I knew that I was going to figure this out. I had to because obviously it would have been a disaster otherwise.

Yuri Elkaim:                         I’m not suggesting you have to take a $300,000 risk on what it is you’re doing, but you have to believe in yourself that you can figure things out, or that you can lean into other people who can help you figure it out. Amy, you talked about sometimes people, they can’t really … they kind of sabotage themselves because they don’t know what it’s going to be like when they have certain success. I can relate to that because I actually held myself back I think unconsciously where I was like, “The more success I have, the more complications there are going to be. I don’t know how to figure all this stuff out legally, corporately, whatever.” Then I had a shift and I said to myself, “Well, if I can’t figure it out I probably know someone who can.” I was like, “Okay, cool well I’ll just speak to my lawyer, speak to my accountant, or ask someone else who’s already done this.” All of a sudden that fear went away. So-

Amy:                                     Hey Yuri?

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yes.

Amy:                                     I’m going to say that I used to have a sticky note, we just moved so I don’t have it available right now, that says, “Figure it out, or hire it out.” It’s one or the other.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Exactly.

Amy:                                     There’s no non-negotiable. There’s no give up. There’s no like, “If it’s something that’s a passion, and in my goals, and my plans, and my intentions for my life on a day-to-day basis, month-to-month basis it’s either going to be figure it out, or it’s going to be hire it out.”

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yes, I love it.

Amy:                                     And we do both which is awesome.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Yes, absolutely. That’s really good. So, if you’re watching this, I’d love to know in the comments … well Irene’s already just pumped in a little comment actually a couple of minutes. She was in relation to what Steph had said, “100% agree with you. How we speak to or about ourselves is the most important thing.” It’s very true. That internal dialog is … you’re going to be with internal dialog every single day so it’s got to be good.

Yuri Elkaim:                         So, if you guys have enjoyed this one let us know obviously in the comments if you’re watching this on Facebook or YouTube. If you’re listening to this on the Podcast on iTunes and you’re thinking to yourself, “You know what, like yeah I do have a growth oriented mindset. I’m willing to move my business to the next step. Not really sure how,” but I’m going to invite you like I always do to do two things. Number one is to watch our online training. It’s pretty much an online workshop called the 7-Figure Health Business Blueprint. You’ll get a really good sense of what not to do in terms of building your business, and a better sense of what to do based on just years of experience that I have in done this and obviously helping a lot of clients go through this process.

Yuri Elkaim:                         If it resonates with you and you’re like, “You know what, this makes sense. I can see myself building my business in this manner,” then we’ll have a link near the end of the training. Click on that link, and you’ll be able to book a time to chat with us. We’ll get on the phone to you, we’ll figure out where you are, where you want to go, what’s holding you back. We’ll see if there’s a good fit to work together. At the very minimum you’ll walk out with a lot more clarity. If there is a good fit and you want to continue the relationship and help us, or have us help you build out your business to help you get more clients and scale your coaching, then we can certainly help you do that if there is a good fit. To get all that started just go to healthpreneurgroup.com/training and that’s what I’d like you to do right now.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Thanks so much for joining us. Amy, and Jackie, Steph once again thank you so much guys for all your great insight and wisdom, and hope you guys have enjoyed this one. See you in the next episode.

Yuri Elkaim:                         Hey, thanks so much for joining us on this episode of the Healthpreneur Podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, here’s what I’d like you to do right now. If you haven’t done so already, please subscribe to the Healthpreneur Podcast on iTunes and while you’re there leave us a rating or review. It helps us get in front of more people and change more lives. If you’re ready to start or scale your health or fitness coaching business and want to start getting in front of more people, working with them at a higher level without trading time for money then I invite you to check out our free 7-Figure Health Business Blueprint training.

Totally free right now, and you can do so at healthpreneurgroup.com/training. For now, thank you so much for joining us. Continue to be great, do great, and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.